Matthew 16:4 (HCSB)
4 "...An evil and adulterous generation demands a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of Jonah.” Then He left them and went away.Not so funny how I recently said I did not know if the trials I was going through were because I was like Joseph and just going through them to get to where I was supposed to be or like Jonah because I was out of the will of God or Job...The scripture I received today said the only sign that would be given would be the sign of Jonah. The whole time I thought that odd smell was ADM...but it was the belly of the big fish...
Since my move LAST year...I have had a hard time committing to one church and calling it home. I can be a very "feeling" motivated person, so I tend to lean on how I FEEL when I attend church to tell me if I should continue attending or I wait to see if I see "signs".
I know God loves us all so dearly that He would show us signs over even the smallest things IF that was how He worked....and yes I know the bible is loaded with pages of His signs and wonders...but I was not looking for biblical signs. I tend to look for signs like "please have two red cows cross my path with a golden monkey on their back." ..well I am not that bad but you get the point and maybe you've done it too...so I wake up unsure of the church to attend and I see a FB friend posted a scripture that one pastor uses often and I start thinking, oh here is my sign...then instantly I get Matthew 16:4 before my mind, and I got it. Granted the signs which the scripture is talking about are different then what I was looking for, but the principle fits. I don't need to "feel" a certain way or have ten ducks dressed like Michael Jackson cross my path for me to know where I need to be. So I went to the church which was NOT a "sign" for me today. Obviously both churches are great God honoring churches or I would not have to ask which one to attend. The decision I made today, which might I add, after we moved this was the first church I believed was the right fit, all of us had the best day we had had in a loooooonnnnggg time. My son did not want to go, and sue me...I bribed him with his favorite drink IF he actually gave the church a fair chance, my daughter was just bouncing of the ceilings with excitement because she LOVED that church she said, and the baby well, he was well cared for too. The message was great and in line with what I personally needed to hear.
After church I felt a huge weight lifted off of me. I went shopping which is usually a HUGE drama production as the 3yr old picks on the 10yr old and the 10 yr old starts trying to parent her and complain about EVERYTHING right or wrong that she does, then the baby cries etc. So I drive on out to the end of the earth(feels like it to me) and I begin to shop. To my surprise...nothing had changed, yet everything was changed. My children were still running around where they shouldn't be and fighting with each other, I had to put the toddler in the cart where she was not supposed to go, and tell the 10yr old to stop even talking to her if he was just going to argue, etc. BUT I was calm and collected I was not overwhelmed and anxious...even when the 3yr old let out a huge shriek and the cashier scrunched up his face in anger and said "WOW!", the people behind me were laughing...etc I just joked, put out the fire and went on. No stress added, no anxiety, no urge to be back home and done shopping...NOPE I was ready to tackle the next store...the grocery store....
The grocery store did not have the car shopping carts so I was forced to chase my 3yr old again and later put her in the cart and have to keep telling her to sit down and not smash the bread...BUT yet again we did GREAT. Leaving that store I proudly took out the free kid cone coupons I had saved for DQ and we hit the drive through to reward ourselves for a day of great getting through.
I don't believe this beautiful weather and great day of church and shopping was JUST because I picked the "right" church. I think that the great day was because of a simple small change in how I believe, think and respond. I will not say I am healed of anxiety or that I have overcome my anger...but I will say I have been digging in and I have FULL faith that the same God that started the work in me is faithful to complete it and it is up to me to keep up.
For ME I believe this desert in my life came from me standing still...not firm, but still and getting confused at what I was supposed to be doing. I am looking forward to moving forward and continuing on digging in deeper and deeper.
I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
God I pray, for everyone reading this who needs revelation into areas of their life , behavior , attitude etc. that need Your healing touch so they can break free and move on into Your promises and let Your light shine out through them for all around to see, may they receive their healing and breakthrough and go on boldly with all glory going to You, fulfilling Your will for them in this life. May Your peace, strength, wisdom and an unquenchable thirst for You be poured out upon them, In Jesus name, Amen.
