Got someone else's shoes on? Get them on and let's go walking!
Recently I have been feeling burdened to share on the majority's lack of noticeable concern for one another, and I believe it is because we have let society and all this new technology rob us of our compassion. Right now my mind is screaming out "the r word, talk about the r word" The "r" word should never have become the "r" word...some may still not know what it is. I am referring to the word retard. Webster defines it here http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/retard . Why this word ever became a title for someone with a developmental delay is beyond me, we have been a cruel society since the dawn of time apparently, but in my short 35 years it seems to have worsened drastically. Yes the word means to slow or hinder...it is VERB not a noun. The person has retarded development they are not a retard...it doesn't fit. They are a PERSON. To use the word as slang to describe someone, well it shows our own retarded development of compassion. The word is not meant to define a person so I will not attach it to a person, I will attach it to a process such as development. I am not attempting to be "pc" I am wanting to show compassion to people. I am guilty of being ignorant in my past and in many ways I am still ignorant...this is just not one of them.
Recently I had been diagnosed with two tough pills to swallow, so I haven't swallowed them, but I am growing from the experience that comes along with learning of them. I am also going to a support group and working through my past hurts, hang ups and addictions. These things are helping God work in me to give me greater compassion for others. I am not perfect and never will be, I am beginning to understanding grace on a whole new level.
I am confounded by people who say they love someone and then demean them horribly and judge them critically. I've done this and it is a "hang up" of mine that is easy to drop for those outside my personal life but not so much for those inside and that breaks my heart. I should have more compassion for them, but I find myself having less. We tend to examine others lives and intents with a microscope all while not realizing our own.
Conversation...
Woman speaking to gossip buddy :"Sally bought a doughnut today. I thought she didn't have money. Must be nice I want a doughnut but I REALLY can't get one. "...To cashier " Yes I would like a pack of Marlboro" ...
We often fail to realize one it is not even our business in the first place and maybe there is more to what we see than meets the eye??? Maybe that is not Sally's doughnut, maybe she was given money to get herself a doughnut because someone saw her struggle and wanted her to have it, maybe she is battling depression and thought the doughnut would make her feel better??? The possibilities are endless...which is just one reason why we should move on...nothing to see here!
I could easily write a novel on so many pointless things I have done and seen, but I will touch on just one more area for now. This one is near and dear to me. Compassion for the sick.
I had been so guilty of not sharing it in the past and I still at times have to purpose myself to show compassion. This world can easily take my attention away from what really matters. What I have learned is, most people want an ear that listens and does not change topic.
Example:
Paulette: " I just heard from the doctors I have a disease that is stealing my vision. So far there is no cure and in ten years they say I will be blind if no cure is found, either way I will still have irreparable damage to my vision."
Nancy: "Wow that is terrible... You know I went to the Dr. the other day and I had to get a new prescription for my glasses. I am a 1.25 now instead of a 1. I just paid all kinds of money for my last pair and now they are no good!"
This is not an exaggeration, people really do talk to each other that way! Why? Who knows for certain, but I believe one reason is because the world is starving for someone to listen so we blurt out our own problems when they seem to fit the conversation. Paulette was talking about eye sight so Nancy thought "eye sight" hey maybe Paulette will listen, cause 'Jimmy' didn't care"...
Nancy would not have been able to fix Paulette, but she could have shown more compassion and shared her story with someone else. It could have gone like this...
Nancy: "Oh Paulette, I am sorry to hear that. (hug) I don't have words, there are no words. Hearing that news I imagine can give you so much to think about. Is there anything I can do to help? I want to be there in anyway you need me to be." or "Can I pray with you?" etc.
Some people are not going to receive any kind words we share or any help we offer, they are stuck in their own pity, but that doesn't mean we should ignore them. Love them anyway, we should show them we love them.
For the "get over it crowd", I shake my head in disbelief. That is NOT what Jesus would do. Never once in the Bible does it say, the sick were brought to Jesus and He mocked them for not having enough faith to heal themselves, or, He mocked them because they believed they were sick! Sure there are many thoughts on healing, some say Jesus heals all, others say healing is not for today and still others say healing is only for some and we each have a purpose and sometimes it involves sickness. Well one thing I CAN tell you, I did not believe myself sick...in fact I had rather enjoyed how healthy I was...not pridefully but joyfully giving thanks to God. I did not sin some particular sin and was cursed with a sickness, it just happened plain and simple. If sin were the cause everyone would be sick physically. That would be great...I can see it now a confession drive through...
Priest or Pastor etc.: " What is your sickness?"
Sinner: "I have a disease which causes blindness."
Priest or Pastor etc.: Let's see, ahhh yes there it is, that is caused by lust. Just repent from your lust and your vision will be healed. Please pull up to the next window where a self righteous bigot will throw a stone at you before you leave, pay no attention to their skin condition, it's caused by being self haughty."
I can also guarantee The LAST thing a person who is battling an illness wants to hear is that it is "their fault".
Never down play another person's feelings," you have X well X is not as bad as Y...you will live." Or "I have no idea what that is myself but I think someone else I know had it and they are fine. " "You look fine and don't seem like you are sick so you must really be okay and just want sympathy. "etc.
Family and friends of people who are sick, don't be so wrapped up in yourself or worse, technology, show compassion even if you stink at it...simply tell the person you care and stink at showing it. Purpose yourself to try to show you care, and take the time to learn what shows THEM you care. Maybe you like flowers but they like jokes...etc.
So the meat of the story all wraps up into...We don't know as much as we pretend to know. Love and take the time to learn how to love each person. Be as close to Jesus as we can in our talk and our WALK. Go show that person you thought of when you read this some of Jesus' love in you. Don't live life wasted and don't let perfect moments to show love pass you by, you may never get the chance again.
God bless, peace in and peace out!
http://youtu.be/4omFQJEAAVc
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Monday, June 16, 2014
Out of the darkness she climbs
I was watching my children in silence at the table today during breakfast...I was in silence they were in debate, torturing each other...whatever you would like to call it, My 9yr old was angry at my 3 yr old and my 3 yr old just wanted to "touch" my 9 yr old. My infant just wanted to eat and so did I. As the battle waged on the dialogue went like this.
9yr old: LEAVE ME ALONE!!! She keeps trying to touch me!
Me: Leave him alone, keep your hands to yourself and eat your food. Be nice. And you calm down she is not hurting you she just wants to touch you. Let her touch you touch her back and then say " Okay now let's eat".
3Yr old is reaching to touch still.
9yr old: LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I will never let her touch me! I'm going to spank you!
Me: (trying to calm myself) Okay, please understand, she is just trying to get a reaction from you, you are giving her quite a show. (jumping around in his chair and moving his chair all around.) Just redirect her like we have been working on.
9 yr old: No!!!
At that moment, I believe the Holy Spirit spoke to me and reminded me that my life is much like what was happening at my table...yes that was my life, but my unspoken dialogue with God is often the same as my 9yr old's to me. I want problems to leave me alone and go away, He is telling me how to get them to, in fact he gave me a whole book of instructions. I know they work because I have used them before and seen how they work, yet I keep reverting back to doing things MY way. and the "3yr old" keeps trying to touch me.
From the outside looking in, it is clear that I should just follow His will and His way. Yet from the inside, it is clear that my intent doesn't match my action. I seem to become "blind" to what I am doing and often times I do not even realize I am doing things "My way". I love the Father and I would never purposely not follow His instruction. But am I purposing myself to be in His Word enough? Do I realize when I am being distracted? Am I on task for His plan for me? Do I know what His plan for me is? Am I trusting Him?
I recently found out that I had buried a lot of pain in my life. I thought I was done with it. I had been trying to convince myself it no longer existed instead of working it out through Christ. I had lied to myself and said I was healed of all kinds of emotional pain that I really wasn't healed from. That coupled by the recent seemingly non-stop attacks and I had become a "closet monster". The closet monster doesn't show it's self in "daylight" aka public, but once it's "dark", aka behind closed doors, the beast is unleashed. I try to hold myself together but I am powerless, I am a mess and at times I can't stop myself from getting angry and sinning(yelling/cussing). I can bottle up the things that hurt me and cause mega stress, but "contents under pressure may explode" and they have always exploded. It's ugly. So I entered a new to me program at my church, and I am not free yet, but I am closer to freedom than I have been in years and that feels good.
I dedicate this new step in recovery to my dad who left this earth to be with the Father June 13th 2012. He loved hearing about what I came out of and how it all happened, I know someday we will get to finish conversations we started and never got to finish. When I look back on the things that my dad said to me, even things my grandmother who passed said to me, it is clear how they were used in God's plan for my life. I am so grateful I always used this scripture below to explain myself, but I never had as much of a handle on it till I started the recovery class.
Romans 7
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin
Please know you do not have to have been an alcoholic or have used drugs to need a recovery program. There are so many areas we as people can have struggles in. You can copy and paste the link below to your browser and see where you can start celebrating recovery in your area! Not one in your area? Talk to your church leaders and see if they know of programs that can help you and remember we are followers of Christ, not of men.
http://www.celebraterecovery.com/
God bless!
9yr old: LEAVE ME ALONE!!! She keeps trying to touch me!
Me: Leave him alone, keep your hands to yourself and eat your food. Be nice. And you calm down she is not hurting you she just wants to touch you. Let her touch you touch her back and then say " Okay now let's eat".
3Yr old is reaching to touch still.
9yr old: LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I will never let her touch me! I'm going to spank you!
Me: (trying to calm myself) Okay, please understand, she is just trying to get a reaction from you, you are giving her quite a show. (jumping around in his chair and moving his chair all around.) Just redirect her like we have been working on.
9 yr old: No!!!
At that moment, I believe the Holy Spirit spoke to me and reminded me that my life is much like what was happening at my table...yes that was my life, but my unspoken dialogue with God is often the same as my 9yr old's to me. I want problems to leave me alone and go away, He is telling me how to get them to, in fact he gave me a whole book of instructions. I know they work because I have used them before and seen how they work, yet I keep reverting back to doing things MY way. and the "3yr old" keeps trying to touch me.
From the outside looking in, it is clear that I should just follow His will and His way. Yet from the inside, it is clear that my intent doesn't match my action. I seem to become "blind" to what I am doing and often times I do not even realize I am doing things "My way". I love the Father and I would never purposely not follow His instruction. But am I purposing myself to be in His Word enough? Do I realize when I am being distracted? Am I on task for His plan for me? Do I know what His plan for me is? Am I trusting Him?
I recently found out that I had buried a lot of pain in my life. I thought I was done with it. I had been trying to convince myself it no longer existed instead of working it out through Christ. I had lied to myself and said I was healed of all kinds of emotional pain that I really wasn't healed from. That coupled by the recent seemingly non-stop attacks and I had become a "closet monster". The closet monster doesn't show it's self in "daylight" aka public, but once it's "dark", aka behind closed doors, the beast is unleashed. I try to hold myself together but I am powerless, I am a mess and at times I can't stop myself from getting angry and sinning(yelling/cussing). I can bottle up the things that hurt me and cause mega stress, but "contents under pressure may explode" and they have always exploded. It's ugly. So I entered a new to me program at my church, and I am not free yet, but I am closer to freedom than I have been in years and that feels good.
I dedicate this new step in recovery to my dad who left this earth to be with the Father June 13th 2012. He loved hearing about what I came out of and how it all happened, I know someday we will get to finish conversations we started and never got to finish. When I look back on the things that my dad said to me, even things my grandmother who passed said to me, it is clear how they were used in God's plan for my life. I am so grateful I always used this scripture below to explain myself, but I never had as much of a handle on it till I started the recovery class.
Romans 7
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin
Please know you do not have to have been an alcoholic or have used drugs to need a recovery program. There are so many areas we as people can have struggles in. You can copy and paste the link below to your browser and see where you can start celebrating recovery in your area! Not one in your area? Talk to your church leaders and see if they know of programs that can help you and remember we are followers of Christ, not of men.
http://www.celebraterecovery.com/
God bless!
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