The Billy Joel song " Tell Her About It", this song used to play on the radio when I was a child very often and it is a catchy song...one that popped into my mind after I did my grocery shopping today. I was thinking how many times myself and others as well, have said " I shouldn't have to tell him, he should know." Well sister, there is not too many of us women that would not agree with you on that one...BUT, as obvious as it is to us, it apparently is not obvious to him.
Through reading a lot of books about how men think, not as scarey as I thought, I learned he just doesn't think like me...in many things he doesn't think like me in the slightest. If I look like a pack mule he is not thinking "What can I do to lighten her load." This doesn't make him a bad guy, and some men do think that way and some have "purposed themselves to think that way." Chances are most men who help the "pack mule" wife/momma have been asked to help enough times they get it or someone else has put a little word in their ear.
Our words need to be sweet and tender even if we just came from the battlefield of the supermarket, where people park their carts on one side and shop from the other, meet and greet their long lost buddies in the middle of a popular isle, tantrums erupt at the worst possible moments, children try to run amok, important items are out of stock, employees are rude, you leave without half the things you came for and get things that were not on your list...budget....psssshhhh. Then you get home loaded with children and bags and no one is there to help...but they want to be everywhere you are. This is a moment for a prayer for peace, and to have HIS words only. Breath deep and rewind to the parking lot. While in the parking lot, use that trusted cell phone and call those waiting at the house...if there are any, and ask for them to be ready to help you unload. If you forget this step just get a few things and ask for help POLITELY as you enter the home. In time this will become habit and all will be well...at least on the home front.
But this goes so much deeper than the grocery store, it touches every area of our lives. He more than likely won't know unless we tell him. Think too, is what I am telling him or asking of him his responsibility or mine? For instance, the saying "Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." We should not expect our spouse to jump and run because of our poor planning. It is not their fault for our mistakes, we can however ask them to help us in our areas of weakness. If we get side tracked from the goal easily we can ask our spouse to remind us in love we are not working toward the current goal, BUT we should not blame our spouse if he does not see us off track.
For many women, they say, I tell him day in and day out to take out the trash(etc) and he just never does it unless I ask. There are many things to look at there. Are we asking or nagging? Do we appreciate when he completes the task? Is this a task he is okay with and if not is there something else he can swap out with? Some men are just not going to do it without being asked and some will not do it at all...BUT GOD is in the people changing business, so we truck on and put our eyes on HIM. Trusting HE will see us through.
I am sure men have things they think we should just know too. I know for me if my husband needed something from me I was not doing, I would want him to tell me, and tell me as often as he needed to. I don't want him feeling his needs are not being met.
When in doubt in any situation in life...Bible it out. What does the Word say?
Luke 6:31
Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them.
Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable to You,
Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.
Philippians 4:8
Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise,dwell on these things.
Ephesians 5:6-14
6 Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for God’s wrath is coming on the disobedient because of these things. 7 Therefore, do not become their partners. 8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light— 9 for the fruit of the light results in all goodness, righteousness, and truth— 10 discerning what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Don’t participate in the fruitless works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to mention what is done by them in secret. 13 Everything exposed by the light is made clear, 14 for what makes everything clear is light. Therefore it is said:
Get up, sleeper, and rise up from the dead,and the Messiah will shine on you.
I am about to start another book, I will share what I personally gain along the way and how I am applying what I have learned. The book is titled " Do Your Kids A Favor...Love Your Spouse" by author and speaker Kendra Smiley and John Smiley.
http://www.kendrasmiley.com/shop/category/book/
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