Humbling

Humble as defined by Merriam Webster's Online Dictionary is...

1

: not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive

2

: reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission <a humble apology>

Let me tell you it took some time...technically going by the age of accountability it was about 22years, going from when I gave my life to Christ it was about 5 years, before I really started getting this.

I am the kind of person who asks for trials if it is going to work out something in me.  Luke 22:41 He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, [42] "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." [43] An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. [44] And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

Jesus knew the cup would not be taken from him.  He prayed harder, knowing this.

Personally I would rather be living a righteous life close to God with some trials then to go on in blind sin THINKING everything is fine.  I want God's will in my life not my own.  So a lot of what I have gone through I have literally asked for. 

People say "Don't ask for patience", well I did and I have sure been tried in areas where I needed patience, and I prayed for my anger to leave me...well I sure have been tried in those areas as well... The good news?  Just like Jesus taking the cup and dying for us, freed us from the law, gave us eternal life and a relationship through Him with the father, my prayers and the trials I have gone through, and are going through, are bringing about major freeing and life giving blessings in my life I other wise would not have had.  For me, freedom from bondage is worth the tears and pain it takes to get there, to me not passing on my sins to my children for them to face in their lives it worth my struggle now.  I want these sins to stop with me, and my husbands to stop with him...not to be passed down to the future generations.

It is humbling to go through many of the trials I have and must go through, because there is so much I want to take control of and so much I want to say...but through error I have learned, my ways are not His ways and they do not produce the same fruit.  I am more harm to situations that I am good..IF I do not do things HIS way.

I have heard stories from many people who have faced similar trials and they are either still in them or it took them 10+ years to get through to the other side and experience what God had been showing them was there all a long.  Now there are many reasons for this.  One reason is we sometimes are also dealing with someone else free will.  Well let's just give that one to God right now because HE is the ONLY one in the people changing business, but still know He is a gentleman and will not take away their free will...that said He WILL guide them into places which break them of their binding sins...we must stay out of it though.  Encourage the person through prayer and words of wisdom He gives to us to share at the times He tells us to.  Another reason is us, the one thing we can do something about.

Many times I have had to stay silent when my flesh is crying out for justice.  The times I disobeyed and spoke anyway, it did no good, in fact it made things worse.  Because the person was not ready to receive and they were blind to everything I said, this just frustrated me more.  I could not understand how they thought what they did was okay.  Sin blinds people...and when we take God's seat we sin as well.  I want to hear my shepherd so I do my best to remain silent until told otherwise.  A good tool for me is to write out what I am feeling and then either delete it or store it somewhere out of the way.  This way I feel I have communicated what I feel without pushing it off on someone else.  One time I wrote about 6 letters on my pc and sent them all to drafts, each time I got a little less defensive and when it was time for me to actually  speak my words were simple and neutral. 

Being humble does not mean being a door mat, I am used as a door mat often, but I have learned to set boundaries which protect me in enough areas that I can handle the areas I can do nothing about.  For instance if someone is demanding my time and I do not have it to give, I say no.  They may get angry, that is between them and God. By saying no I have limited undue stress from that situation.  So then someone lies to me, I can't stop that from happening so with less stress from other areas I can handle what I am not in control of better.  After prayer and my feelings subsiding I can confront the person and explain what the effect of their lie.  This in itself will more than likely not change them, but I have brought it to their attention then I let go and let God. 

One last bit on this blog post.  I have also learned not to be an investigator.  It does me no good to search for lies and deceit. It hurts me more than it helps the other person.  God can do a work in someone without them ever even knowing I knew they lied to me.  Now in the case the person lying is not a friend or older family member but a child it is important to guide them on the path of being an honest person.

For many people they find it TOO hard to be humble...but the longer we waste our time on that, the longer it takes us to get the break through we need in our relationships and our lives.
Now is the best time to make a change and get some support people...tomorrow never comes for the procrastinator.