Definition of DISENGAGE
transitive verb
: to release from something that engages or involves
intransitive verb
: to release or detach oneself : withdraw
via merriamwebster.com
A while back my 8 yr old, was having a problem removing himself from a situation which was drawing him in to confrontation and that confrontation was bringing out his anger and that anger was fueling the other person's confrontation...vicious cycle. From the outside of the situation I could see what was going on although neither Dylan nor the other person knew. I believe the Lord gave me a word...Disengage. So I said to Dylan, "disengage" then without giving the definition I simply said step away from what is going on and go somewhere else, because nothing is being solved.(and his meltdown was t-minus 5 seconds) He said I am trying...he successfully disengaged and later I brought him to the pc and looked up the definition. Dylan craves knowledge and really enjoys new words. He likes the new word and though he does not communicate his like for the word he shows it by following through now when I tell him to disengage. Now it wasn't as simple as just telling him the first time. I had to explain the benefits to him, like by walking away you will not get into trouble for saying bad things, you will not get angry and hit something or throw something...etc.
So now mom has to disengage. It is harder than it seems especially when I am engaged in "my element" I am a task orientated person and if I am in the process of completing a task when I am engaged I unknowingly stay right where I am so I can complete the task..anger grows, thoughts rush in and "Peter" goes under the waves and has to stretch out that hand for Jesus to pull him back up. My plan for me? Disengage then Re-engage. Re-engage in another task...a woman always has something she can work on. So if I am doing dishes, disengage and re-engage folding laundry, making the bed, cleaning the bathroom etc. Where ever the confrontation is NOT that is where I am going to be...of course I will explain what I am doing so I am not followed...otherwise the outlook is not too good for me remaining calm.
My waves seem to smack me in the face and that is what takes my attention away...I think about a video Dylan passed down to his sister, called Junior's Giants. The video is on anger and Junior must confront his "giants' When he gets into the battle arena he sees a man shorter than he is. The man wants to fight him. At first Junior laughs and says he will not fight him he is too small. He turns and waits for the "real" giant. Well the little man begins to hit him with golf balls and finally wins at getting Junior upset enough to lose his temper...that is when the little man turns to a giant. This is how I feel often. My little man says things...doesn't bother me, I just focus on Jesus...then the little man hits me upside the head with a golf ball "WHAT??? OH NO YOU DIDN'T" Now it becomes dodge ball. I always hated dodge ball.
So with prayer, keeping my eyes on Jesus through all the not so hard times and practicing this method....I plan to be able to learn to STAY focused on Him and disengage no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing and no matter what is being done against me.
Matthew 4:11
Then the Devil left Him, and immediately angels came and began to serve Him.
via merriamwebster.com
A while back my 8 yr old, was having a problem removing himself from a situation which was drawing him in to confrontation and that confrontation was bringing out his anger and that anger was fueling the other person's confrontation...vicious cycle. From the outside of the situation I could see what was going on although neither Dylan nor the other person knew. I believe the Lord gave me a word...Disengage. So I said to Dylan, "disengage" then without giving the definition I simply said step away from what is going on and go somewhere else, because nothing is being solved.(and his meltdown was t-minus 5 seconds) He said I am trying...he successfully disengaged and later I brought him to the pc and looked up the definition. Dylan craves knowledge and really enjoys new words. He likes the new word and though he does not communicate his like for the word he shows it by following through now when I tell him to disengage. Now it wasn't as simple as just telling him the first time. I had to explain the benefits to him, like by walking away you will not get into trouble for saying bad things, you will not get angry and hit something or throw something...etc.
So now mom has to disengage. It is harder than it seems especially when I am engaged in "my element" I am a task orientated person and if I am in the process of completing a task when I am engaged I unknowingly stay right where I am so I can complete the task..anger grows, thoughts rush in and "Peter" goes under the waves and has to stretch out that hand for Jesus to pull him back up. My plan for me? Disengage then Re-engage. Re-engage in another task...a woman always has something she can work on. So if I am doing dishes, disengage and re-engage folding laundry, making the bed, cleaning the bathroom etc. Where ever the confrontation is NOT that is where I am going to be...of course I will explain what I am doing so I am not followed...otherwise the outlook is not too good for me remaining calm.
My waves seem to smack me in the face and that is what takes my attention away...I think about a video Dylan passed down to his sister, called Junior's Giants. The video is on anger and Junior must confront his "giants' When he gets into the battle arena he sees a man shorter than he is. The man wants to fight him. At first Junior laughs and says he will not fight him he is too small. He turns and waits for the "real" giant. Well the little man begins to hit him with golf balls and finally wins at getting Junior upset enough to lose his temper...that is when the little man turns to a giant. This is how I feel often. My little man says things...doesn't bother me, I just focus on Jesus...then the little man hits me upside the head with a golf ball "WHAT??? OH NO YOU DIDN'T" Now it becomes dodge ball. I always hated dodge ball.
So with prayer, keeping my eyes on Jesus through all the not so hard times and practicing this method....I plan to be able to learn to STAY focused on Him and disengage no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing and no matter what is being done against me.
Matthew 4:11
Then the Devil left Him, and immediately angels came and began to serve Him.
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