The Heat is ON

The weather is FINALLY warming up, with the gloom lifting from outdoors, my moods seem to be more uplifting as well.  So what happens when I start to feel better, well the enemy cranks up the "heat".  Health issues, financial strains, broken appliances and people making poor choices which only effect the people who already sacrifice....oh it all leaves my spirit in war with my flesh even more so than normal. 

I want to shout out "IT'S NOT FAIR"...or socially crawl under a rock(metaphorical rock).  Saddly I am not far from already being under a rock, friends and family are far from me, gas is insufficient I rarely leave this house that has all but entombed me and my children.  Oh maybe it is a bit dramatic but gosh darn it, I have been on the verge of stir crazy for some time... Blessedly I love to clean and rearrange and this is how I spend my near break down times, music cranked and children dancing, they have no clue mom is singing, dancing and cleaning to stay sane.

I have cried to one friend so many times I often find myself laying the phone back down and just trying to change my thought pattern, which is healthier anyway...for most people anyway.  I tend to do well till a straw breaks the camels back, then I end up trying to calm this eruption of fire inside me.  Through prayer and reading the Word daily I have gotten better at just shutting up, but I do ask how long will this go on.  Will certain people ever learn how destructive and selfish their behavior is to the people they...love???

I sigh...cause like Solomon said, it's all meaningless.  In the grand scheme of life I have no reason to complain.  Comparing myself to the poor in a third world country I should never have a tear falling from my eyes, I have never tasted the pain they have.  But as some say, pain is pain is pain.  We each feel it based on our own personal life experiences.  One thing is for sure, I can teach my children how to avoid my mistakes, yet I am left praying they follow my advice and not my past footprints.

Oh the heat is on and I have been feeling like a stick of butter, melting and being spread too thin on a piece of over toasted bread, being crammed into a large mouth that is just mouhing down and chasing me back with a gallon of milk....pretty descriptive?  Well I am feeling pretty descriptive tonight.    I never said this would all be sunshine, just that it would be about my struggles and achievements. 

Achievement 1 for tonight I let my pain out...somewhat...here in this blog, and now I will pray some more and if the children allow I will read more, otherwise I am off to a tv to crank up TBN or a like station. 

James 5:16
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
Please pray for me I am praying for you all in spirit.