The painful truth was... I was angry with me. I was angry because I had let MY feelings get in the way of God's plan for my life and my marriage.
Let me tell you if you have never heard clearly from the enemy you might just hear him in your ear at every line which describes you in this book and he will even try to get you to focus on the lines which speak to your spouse...BUT
John 10:4-5
4 After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. 5 They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.”So I am saying "shut up" to the enemy throughout the book and shut up to my flesh.
My daughter who is 2, has liked to throw toys at her 8yr old brother. She knows he will run and take cover, this to her is a game. It hasn't mattered what discipline she has been given she still has gone back to throwing toys at him. One day I said to my son, "Why don't you redirect her attention to another game? Offer to play blocks with her, and actually let her play." He tried my advice and sure enough she sat down peacefully and they worked together to build things with the blocks.
My 8yr old was under attack at no fault of his own, though his dodging created a game atmosphere for her, he did nothing to encourage her to begin to throw toys at him. He, not being at fault, was still in control of the situation. Once he changed...she changed.
This was very painful for my 8 yr old, he does not like to take advice especially when he is being asked to be the "bigger person". Much like his pain, we all face pain too when we have to be the bigger person. The enemy likes to remind us that we are the ones that always have to be the bigger person and that maybe the other person will just not come around to our efforts and we will always be the bigger person without any reward here on this earth. But with submission to God and prayer our efforts will not be in vain and a little pain(emotional) now or even a lot of pain(emotional) is so worth the outcome of submission to His ways. My son still gets attacked by his sister, and he does not always remember my advice, but that lesson is still in his mind and I still remind him of how well it worked. She still gets my discipline too, but nothing works as well as her brother getting down and playing games and such with her.
This works in lots of areas of our life but as I read in the above mentioned book, it is a great tool in our marriages as well. If our spouse is not meeting our needs, or is not following God's plans for marriage, we still need to submit to what God expects from us. When we choose to go our own way and act out on our feelings we end up not only pushing our spouse further away from God's plan, we end up further away ourselves and we develop a pattern which is hard to break.
So...painful to hear that no matter what (unless physical and severe mental abuse, in these cases seek professional/Pastoral help immediately) we need to keep on with God's design for our marriage...but after the initial pain there is freedom and peace. Freedom and peace because it is in God's hands and we know we are walking in His ways and that is all we are in control of...ourselves.
4 After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. 5 They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.”So I am saying "shut up" to the enemy throughout the book and shut up to my flesh.
My daughter who is 2, has liked to throw toys at her 8yr old brother. She knows he will run and take cover, this to her is a game. It hasn't mattered what discipline she has been given she still has gone back to throwing toys at him. One day I said to my son, "Why don't you redirect her attention to another game? Offer to play blocks with her, and actually let her play." He tried my advice and sure enough she sat down peacefully and they worked together to build things with the blocks.
My 8yr old was under attack at no fault of his own, though his dodging created a game atmosphere for her, he did nothing to encourage her to begin to throw toys at him. He, not being at fault, was still in control of the situation. Once he changed...she changed.
This was very painful for my 8 yr old, he does not like to take advice especially when he is being asked to be the "bigger person". Much like his pain, we all face pain too when we have to be the bigger person. The enemy likes to remind us that we are the ones that always have to be the bigger person and that maybe the other person will just not come around to our efforts and we will always be the bigger person without any reward here on this earth. But with submission to God and prayer our efforts will not be in vain and a little pain(emotional) now or even a lot of pain(emotional) is so worth the outcome of submission to His ways. My son still gets attacked by his sister, and he does not always remember my advice, but that lesson is still in his mind and I still remind him of how well it worked. She still gets my discipline too, but nothing works as well as her brother getting down and playing games and such with her.
This works in lots of areas of our life but as I read in the above mentioned book, it is a great tool in our marriages as well. If our spouse is not meeting our needs, or is not following God's plans for marriage, we still need to submit to what God expects from us. When we choose to go our own way and act out on our feelings we end up not only pushing our spouse further away from God's plan, we end up further away ourselves and we develop a pattern which is hard to break.
So...painful to hear that no matter what (unless physical and severe mental abuse, in these cases seek professional/Pastoral help immediately) we need to keep on with God's design for our marriage...but after the initial pain there is freedom and peace. Freedom and peace because it is in God's hands and we know we are walking in His ways and that is all we are in control of...ourselves.
Matthew 5:8-9
for they will see God.
9 The peacemakers are blessed,for they will be called sons of God.
Psalm 119:112
I am resolved to obey Your statutes to the very end.
4 since the weapons of our warfare are not worldly, but are powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds. We demolish arguments 5 and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ.
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