In or Out, Trusting and Drawing Nearer

I've been in the valley and under attack for sometime now and I have come to a turning point...I believe.  Whether I am in or out of God's will for me no one would know for sure but God. I continue to dig in and draw near.  Wanting to scream out but still holding it together, I go to turn for help from people and realize that there is no one to turn to...not because the people in my life are not supportive but because Only God Knows...people can assume or draw conclusions that are inaccurate and only frustrate me as I try to explain how it is not the way they think it is...it would appear I was defensive. Knowing how a simple phone call could end in strife,  I put down the phone and turn to God...Who I had already been turning to but now realizing HE is the ONLY one that gets me completely and the only one that knows 100% what I go through in a day, He knows if I am in His will or just doing what I think is right.  Only He knows if I am like Joseph and just suffering because it is part of this walk or if I am suffering because I am like Jonah and I am out of His will...or maybe like Job.  There is no doubt that this valley has been working some tough issues out of me and I am very thankful to be growing, but that still does not make it any easier and if it were easy no one grow.  I totally understand the term growing PAINS.


So...if you are one of the uhhh 3-14 people that read this and you are in the valley...look me up...no j/k  but really you are not alone and though we may not speak about our pains together, I get you and I am praying in the spirit for you.  Keep the faith don't give up and don't give in, not even an inch.  When this passes we will be giants in so many areas and the testimony and ministry that will come from this will know no limits.  

Psalm 42

¹ As the deer longs for streams of water,
    so I long for you, O God.
² I thirst for God, the living God.
    When can I go and stand before him?
³ Day and night I have only tears for food,
    while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
    “Where is this God of yours?”

⁴ My heart is breaking
    as I remember how it used to be:
I walked among the crowds of worshipers,
    leading a great procession to the house of God,
singing for joy and giving thanks
    amid the sound of a great celebration!

⁵ Why am I discouraged?
    Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
    I will praise him again—
    my Savior and ⁶ my God!

Now I am deeply discouraged,
    but I will remember you—
even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan,
    from the land of Mount Mizar.
⁷ I hear the tumult of the raging seas
    as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.
⁸ But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,
    and through each night I sing his songs,
    praying to God who gives me life.

⁹ “O God my rock,” I cry,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I wander around in grief,
    oppressed by my enemies?”
¹⁰ Their taunts break my bones.
    They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

¹¹ Why am I discouraged?
    Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
    I will praise him again—
    my Savior and my God!

Philippians 3:13-15

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. 

http://youtu.be/9pv5wVS7yzk