2 Cor 12:7... in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I sooo get this. I am not persecuted, but I do understand weakness, insults, hardships and difficulties, and I understand how He strengthens me.
A few people in my life have seen a glimpse of what happens to me in a days time...this is not even the things I bring on myself, I am talking about the things that happen beyond my control. Like walking down a hallway with my dog and having him out of nowhere without so much as a gag, puking all over the bottom of my jeans and my foot. That is just a tiny example. Many times I have thought about listing ALL the many things like the above which happen to me in a day, but I realize hardly anyone else would REALLY understand me.
No one can help me, nothing in the natural can stop the overflow of pooey things which happen daily...so I began to become depressed, and often thought "What's the point? Why try? What am I doing SOOO wrong? I just want to be a nice happy person not a person who goes from mini crisis to mini crisis, angry and frustrated by those around her who are skating by unscathed." But then I look at this world and the people in it and I see there are so few left who have compassion.
I hear almost daily how through one way or another, how people feel about each other and I watch as many beg for forgiveness but refuse to grant it in return.( Great example in Matthew 18 starting in verse 21) I also see how they expect grace and refuse to give it too. I am guilty in having a hard time with grace when I have been hurt by someone and God reminds me that I know what I need to do to live a happy life. Everything I have EVER NEEDED God has given me.
By asking to be more compassionate and to have a clean heart, a heart that breaks for what breaks His and facing many trials which build this character in me, have me second guessing my prayers. I now begin to pray and I say " Lord help me to love...." then I pause and think, "do I want to ask for that...am I ready for what I may go through to get that?" This does not mean God is mean in ANY way, He is the most loving father and He is an awesome teacher and I wouldn't have it any other way. What a huge impact it has when A has come through a trial just like the one B is facing and A can share with B God's mercy and grace...through empathy and compassion.
So when Paul says he "delights", I get it. I am so thankful to know God hears and answers my prayers and that Philippians 1:6 is very evident.
Phil 1:6 ....that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
God bless it's good to be alive!
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